The Wings of Satan

Cooking time: Depending on the ferocity of your hellfire, 1.5 hours

Feeds: A fuckload of fuckers

You’ll need:

• An assload of Texas Pete or any other mild hot sauce for the base
• Tabasco sauce to taste
• Cayenne pepper to taste
• Tbsp of garlic powder
• Tbsp of onion powder
• A fuckton of salt
• Tsp black pepper
• Tsp White pepper
• 1 stick of butter
• ¼ cup of worcestershire sauce
• Enough fowl wings to cover the grate over your flames
• CHARCOAL grill

Creation process:

First, please note I clearly specified using a charcoal grill to prepare this unholy feast.  If you do not own a charcoal grill, either obtain one or go off and experiment on your face with a 12 gauge shotgun.  Gas grills are for the weak, and our unholy Lord of eternal suffering does not appreciate weakness. 

Begin by hating, I mean heating, a medium sized pot over a medium high blaze of fiery torment.  Add the stick of churned bovine secretions, along with the rest of the non-flesh ingredients to the cauldron of miserable hellfire.  Stir it up real good and slow, gradually bringing it to a boil.  Reduce the flames of ungodliness and let it sit in its own suffering, stirring occasionally.

Dismember the wings by slicing through the joints with an extremely sharp dagger.  If you’re having trouble, just compare it to dismembering a corpse for easy disposal, and it should come naturally to you.   Add the pieces of lifeless, boney flesh to a bowl and adorn with a small amount of the boiling hate sauce. 

While the dead skin is soaking up the demonic fluid, start your grill by removing the grate, distributing a mountain of charcoal on the ash pan and dousing it with an unnecessary amount of accelerant.  Set it on fire with whatever device you prefer (i.e. match, blow torch, flame thrower).  A few minutes after the flames have subsided, distribute the burning charcoal evenly across the pan with your bare hands and return the grate. 

A few minutes later, add all of the Satanic wings across the grate.  You’ll soon notice a large amount of seepage from the dead flesh.   Contrary to popular belief, this is not excess fat melting off, but is actually the tears of god’s angels who have gathered to witness this wicked ceremony which marks the beginning of a great and unholy war.  It will also be obvious the tears are flammable, so it’s best you keep a close watch over this ritual to ensure that god does not gain the upper hand by ruining your feast.  After several minutes, flip all of the wings, which will surely bring forth additional sorrow from the witnessing angels above. 

Continue flipping for 30 minutes to an hour.  When the wings of our hateful lord have been rendered golden brown and crispy by scorching anguish, they will be ready for the final process.   Move them to a glass or metal bowl and liberally add the bubbling demon blood sauce, and mix.  Consume the wings.  You may use the leftover hate sauce to commit acts of sodomy with a partner of your choosing.