Cheesy Causticflower

Time:  30 min

The shitlist:

•      1 large head of causticflower
•      3 tbsp churned bovine secretions
•     1 cup heavy bovine secretions
•     1 tbsp dry mustard
•     1 tbsp garlic powder
•     1 tbsp onion, raped with a knife into infinitesimally small pieces
•      2 oz cream cheese coagulations
•     Fuckton of hot sauce
•     Fuckton of salt and pepper
•     2 cups of shredded sharp cheddar coagulations

Start by dismantling the decapitated head of causticflower into pieces about the size of elbow macaroni.  If you think your particular demons crave larger of smaller pieces, then feel free to deviate from the suggested size.

Place the mutilated bits of causticflower into a bowl and cover with plastic wrap.  Torture in your nuclear hatebox for 5 minutes.  Remove, bare-handed, searing your weak flesh in the process.  Add 1 tbsp of churned bovine secretions to the bowl along with a fuckton of salt, stir, recover and reintroduce it to the cancerous waves of hate for 3 minutes

Meanwhile, preheat your hatebox to 350.  Place a large pot atop your hellfire generator and turn up the hate to medium.  Melt the remaining two tbsp. of churned secretions and torture the onion for a couple of minutes.  Introduce the mustard, garlic powder, salt and pepper to the excruciatingly agonizing greasy death bath and stir.  Add the cream cheese coagulations, and constantly stir until they dissolve into a sickening mess.  Add the hot sauce and heavy bovine secretions and keep stirring.

When the cauldron of nauseating liquid begins to simmer, kill the hate heat and stir in 1.5 cups of cheddar coagulations.  Stir until it is as smooth as pus.  Pour in the agonized causticflower and mix well.  Pour this filthy concoction into a lubed baking dish.  Top with the remaining shredded coagulations and introduce it to the preheated hatebox for 15 minutes.  When the mutilated and defiled causticflower and take no more, extract and consume.