Sunrise Dead Meat Sandwich

Time: Not very long

Feeds: Just your own, filthy body

The dead in which to defile:

• 2 slices of bread
• 3 slices  of swine gut
• 1 slice of bologna
• 6 slices of thinly sliced pig ass
• 1 chicken menstruation
• 1 slice of sandwich coagulated bovine secretions

Wake up and smell the hate:

It’s 11 a.m., and like a normal metalhead, you’re still asleep.  Metalheads stay up late, and cover their windows with black sheets to keep the terrible sting of sunlight out.  This allows a metalhead to endure dreams of murder and malice until midafternoon.  However on this particular morning, you are awakened by the cheerful chirps of birds, who are frolicking in the greenery, just outside.  You rise and stumble across the room to retrieve your 12 gauge.  You silently dart outside to fire off several shells at the joyful animals who have prevented you from enjoying the vivid nightmare you had been experiencing.  Several tiny, mutilated corpses litter the ground, and you go back inside.  These carcasses don’t have enough meat worth extracting for consumption, so you leave them to be devoured by vermin. 

All of this action has worked up your appetite.  Here’s what you do:

Obtain a large pan and place it over medium high hate heat.  Toss your swine gut in and torture until it’s nearly done.  Prepare your fucking bread for toasting (I use homemade loaf bread and toast it under the death from above unity).  Slide the beast belly over to one side of the pan and slap in the bologna.  Make slits with your probing device at 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock so it’ll remain flat.  When it’s time to flip, extract the swine and deposit the pig ass in the greasy death fluids.

By now your bread should be as done as shit.  I like putting mayonnaise and mustard on my goddamn bread, but I’ll leave that up to you.  Place the slide of cheese on one slice and the bacon on the other.  Now put the ass on top of the cheese and the bologna on top of the ass.  Fry the aborted embryo, over easy and cover liberally with tabasco sauce.  Place it on top of the bologna, then stack the slice with fried pig gut on top of the egg.

When you apply pressure, the jaggedness of the swine belly will cut into the discarded menstruation.  The cream of the aborted bird acts as a delicious sauce.   Devour, and make another one if you desire.