Satan Soup

Time: An hour and a half

Feeds: 3 infidels

Shit list:

• 3 red bell peppers
• 5 tbsp olive oil
• 1 onion, raped with a knife
• 3 cloves of garlic, raped with a knife
• 1 can of diced tomatoes
• 3 cups of fowl fluid
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• The juice from 1/2 a lemon
• Fuckton of salt and pepper
• Fuckton of Sriracha sauce

Tools necessary for completion of the sadistic ritual:

• Immersion pulverizer or the destroyer
• Death from above unit

Quench your bloodlust:

Prehate your death from above unit to its highest setting.  Rape the peppers in half with your blade and brush the outer skins with olive oil.  Line the hatebox grate with a piece of foil and place the peppers directly underneath the burning inferno, and let them suffer for 6 or 7 minutes.  When their skin has turned as black as your soul, extract from the box of fiery death and wrap in the foil.  Let them cool while you listen to Tomb of the Mutilated in its entirety. 

When the time is up, remove the blackened skins with your filthy fingers, and discard.  Rape the onion into small pieces and place it into a cauldron with 3 or 4 tbsp of olive oil.  Let the pieces suffer until they are clear.  Mutilate the garlic into tiny pieces and add it to the pan, along with the canned tomatoes.  Cut the ruined peppers into bloody chunks and toss into the cauldron, along with the cumin, cayenne, salt and pepper. 

When the mixture of hot death starts to simmer, turn it into a fine paste with either the immersion pulverizer or with your destroyer.  If you use the destroyer, reintroduce it to the cauldron.  Add the fowl fluid, squeezed acid and sriracha sauce.  Let it simmer for a few minutes, stirring from time to time.  Extract and devour.