Destroyed Potatoes

Cooking time: 30 minutes

List of shit:

• 1.5 - 2 lbs of potatoes
• Unholy salted water
• 2 cloves of garlic, pulverized
• 4 tbsp churned bovine secretions
• ¼ cup sour cream
• ¼  cup mayonnaise
• More salt

Details of the demise:

Fill a large cauldron ¾ of the way with unholy water and add a fuckton of salt.  Place upon your hellfire generator and start a large inferno beneath.  Next, rinse your doomed spuds.  You may remove the skins if you desire, but it is not necessary. 

Next cut into cubes and toss into the boiling bath of fatality.  Let them suffer for about 8-10 minutes.  Meanwhile, melt the churned bovine secretions in a small pan over medium hate along with the pulverized garlic.  Cook this until the garlic begins to brown. 

Once the taters have been tenderized through unimaginable torment, remove them and drain.  Place the steaming, starchy dead flesh into a large mixing bowl, along with the rest of the ingredients and garlic butter.  Use either an automated mutilation device or manual smashing tool.  I prefer manual, because it takes longer and effectively transmits the full force of my immeasurable hatred into the food.   If you are consuming with Hatred Fried Steak, Satan commands you to cover this sickening mess in Mephistopheles Mucus.   

*See Hatred Fried Steak with Mephistopheles Mucus recipe for image of above recipe