Cole Slawter

Time: 15 minutes

Feeds: A bunch of heathens

List:

• 1 small head of cabbage
• 2 carrots
• 1 cup mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp sour cream
• 2 tbsp vinegar
• 1 tbsp minced onion
• 1 tbsp dry mustard
• 1 tsp dill
• 2 tsp celery seed
• Fuckton of salt and pepper

Required equipment:

• Destroyer

The Art of Shredding:

Begin by splitting the head in two with a large dagger.  Cut out the brain stem out and discard.  Slice the head into about 1” strips.

If you have a shredding/grating attachment for your destroyer, now is the time to use it.  Insert the pieces of disfigured head into the destroyer and mutilate beyond recognition.  Add bits of carrot in between scabbage head mutilation.

Get your largest bowl and dump the mutilated head/carrot mixture in.  In a small bowl, combine the other shit on the list and whisk together with hatred and ferocity.  Mix well with the mutilated head and place in the morgue for later or consume now.