Friday, September 6, 2013

Overpriced Bovine Muscle Wrapped in Swine Gut

Time: 20 minutes

Feeds:  Varies, depending on how many hunks of beast you prepare

Shit you’ll need:
  • Filet mignon steaks
  • Thin strips of swine gut
  • Rendered swine gut fat
  • Fuckton of salt
  • Black pepper

The boiling of the cytoplasm:

Start buy obtaining a cast iron pan and placing it on top of your hellfire generator.  Ignite a burning inferno beneath, as high as it’ll go.  Also be sure to preheat your hatebox to the highest setting it’ll go
.
Take your medallions of flesh and tightly wrap with swine gut strips.  You may pin it with a tooth pick, if you wish.  If you don’t want the tooth pick to burn and stink up your domain, coat it in some oil.

Cover in salt and rub rendered swine gut fat all over the surface of the beast meat.  Add to the pan, which should be smoking by now.  Torture for 1.5 minutes, then flip.  When you flip, immediately put the pan in the hatebox and let it suffer for 3 or 4 minutes more. 

Extract and let it rest for at least 5 minutes.  This will produce a rare center, which is the temperature all beast meat should be at the time of consumption.  

No comments:

Post a Comment