Ghoulish Gumbo

Time: 2 whole hours

Feeds: Probably more fuckers than you know

The extensive hit list:

• 1 lb smoked sausage
• 1 lb cooked fowl
• 1 lb cooked pig ass
• 1 lb sea roaches
• 1 onion
• 1 bell pepper
• 1 lb okra
• 1 bulb of garlic, peeled and raped to tiny pieces
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• ¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
• ¼ cup canola oil
• 5 tbsp churned bovine secretions
• ½ cup flour
• 5 cups bovine juice
• 6 green onions, raped into small pieces
• Parsley
• Fuckton of salt and pepper
• 1 tbsp cayenne pepper
• Tabasco sauce

The entanglement of the creatures:

Start by obtaining your largest cauldron and placing it over medium high hellfire.  Add the fowl, which should be shredded, the smoked sausage, which should be raped into 1/4” pieces, and pig ass, which should be diced.  Get this warmed through and extract. 

Add the churned bovine secretions and flour.  Make a blond roux, then add the raped onions, bell pepper.  Torture for a few minutes then add your raped vampire repellent. 

After a few more minutes, add the Worcestershire sauce and bovine juice.  Also add the goddamn tomatoes, why not?  Add salt, pepper, cayenne and Tabasco.  Reduce the hate heat and put a lid on the caldron.

Meanwhile, ignite a fire underneath an oiled pan.  Rape the okra with your dagger and incinerate it in the pan, as to get some of the slime out.  Do this for about 20 minutes. 

After an hour has elapsed, add the sea roaches and green onion and more Tabasco.  Torment for 15 minutes, then extract and destroy.