Elbow Atrocity

Time: 1 hour

Feeds: 6-8 servants

Shitlist:

• 8 oz elbow macaroni
• 1lb pulverized bovine flesh
• 1 tbsp garlic powder
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• 1 can corn, drained
• 1 can black beans
• 1 onion, raped to pieces
• 1 pack taco seasoning
• 2 tbsp churned bovine secretions
• 2 tbsp AP flour
• 2 cups bovine juice
• 1 ¼ cup cheddar coagulated bovine secretions
• Fuckton of salt
• Fuckton of black pepper
• 1 tbsp tabasco sauce

The Execution:

Begin by obtaining a large cast iron pan and two large cauldrons.  Fill one large cauldron ¾ of the way with unholy water and a fuckton of salt.  Place on the hatebox over high hellfire until the unholy water boils furiously.  Add the elbows and persecute for 6 minutes and 66 seconds.  When that time has elapsed, drain and set aside.

While the elbows are busy, perishing, add the bovine flesh and onion with more salt to the cast iron pan, which is heating over medium high hellfire.  Torture until all of the blood has boiled away and only greasy death fluids remain.  Drain the death fluids.  Return the meat to the pan, add the taco seasoning and all of the canned shit.  Stir to combine. 

Place your persecuted elbows into a casserole dish.  Now preheat your hatebox to 350.  In the second cauldron, dissolve the churned bovine secretions until it is completely liquefied and scalding.  Add the flour and stir to make a roux.  Stir the garlic powder, tabasco and finally the bovine secretions.  Stir until the first signs of boiling occurs, then remove from heat.  Stir for about 30 seconds, and Satan will reward you by thickening your concoction.  Now stir in 1 cup of the coagulated bovine secretions.   

Pour the coagulated, steaming, sickening mess you have created over the elbows.  Then pour the disfigured and desecrated flesh on top.  Finally, top with the remaining coagulations. 

Place in the hatebox and torment for 25 minutes.  Extract, devour, excrete, repeat.