Charonized Broccoli

Time: 1 fucking hour

Feeds: a bunch of fuckers, as a side dish

Shit you’ll need:

• Two or three broccoli bunches
• Juice from one half lemon
• Small amount of salt
• Black pepper
• Crushed red pepper
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 1 cup grated parmesan bovine secretions

Equipment:

• The box in which holds the flames of Charon

The Slaying of the Edible Green Plant:

Start by decapitating each broccoli until you have a bunch of tiny heads rolling around.  Next, set into a bowl and mix with everything except the grated bovine secretions.  Let it soak in misery for at least one half hour. 

While you wait, begin a raging inferno in your Charon box.  Odds are, you’re already planning on searing some dead animal on the box, so you’re probably covered.

After the time has elapsed, coat the tiny green heads in the fucking cheese. Place evenly above the flames of hatred, and close the lid.  Wait approximately 5 minutes, checking every 2 minutes, depending on your level of hate heat.  You want to make the decapitations suffer immensely, but do not render them black, like a total asshole/idiot would do. 

After they are bright green with coagulations browned, they are done.  Extract and serve alongside your favorite dead animal.