Beast Loaf

Time: 1.5 hours

Feeds: A family of heathens

Hit list:

• 2lbs ground bovine creature
• Fuckton of black pepper
• Fuckton of salt
• 1.5 cups panko bread crumbs
• 1 discarded chicken embryo
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp thyme
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1/2 yellow bell pepper, raped with a knife
• 1/2 red bell pepper, raped
• 1 carrot
• 1 onion, raped

Beast Blood:

• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp tabasco sauce
• 1 tbsp honey
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Tools for the job:

• The destroyer

The rendering of the beast meat:

Start by combining all of the dry ingredients, except crumbs, in the destroyer and pulse it a couple of times to combine.  Next, add the peppers, onion, carrot and use the destroyer to chop them to death. 

Put your beast meat in a bowl with the egg.  Add the, Asian crumbs and ruined vegetables to the mix.  Combine with your bare hands, and notice how the cold, beast flesh feels wonderfully lifeless between your fingers.

Form into a loaf.  Put on a flat cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and torture at 350 hate units until the internal temperature is 150 degrees.      

While it is torturing, combine the ingredients for the blood.  When the beast loaf is done, paint the blood onto its exterior, and torture for another 10 minutes or so.  Let it rest for about 10 minutes, then use a carving dagger for dividing out portions among your minions.