Seared Swine Boiled in Fungal Demon Semen

Time:  1 hour 15 minutes

Feeds: A nice young couple, who routinely engage in domestic violence behind closed doors

You’ll need:

• Two thick cut boneless swine chops
• A dozen button mushrooms
• 4 tbsp churned bovine secretions
• 2 tbsp flour
• 2 cups of whole bovine secretions
• Fuckton of salt
• Fuckton of black pepper
• 1 tbsp of garlic powder
• 1 tbsp of onion powder
• Small amount of oil

The sadistic preparation of the swine:

Begin by setting your hatebox to 350.  Heat up a pan with medium high heat and add 1 tbsp of the churned bovine secretions.  Meanwhile mutilate your fungus into small pieces with your unholy dagger of the dark lord.  After the churned secretions have bubbled, add the disfigured fungus with some salt and sauté. 

While the fungus is being tortured, melt two tbsp of churned bovine secretions to large pan.  After this has reduced into a sickening, bubbling mess, add the flour and whisk, making a roux.  Add the remaining churned mammal fat to the shrooms and continue to persecute.

Add the liquid bovine fat to the roux a little at a time, stirring constantly and reducing the hellfire beneath.  After the desired thickness has been achieved, add salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder.  Then stir in the fungus from the other pan, along with the liquefied churned secretions.  It will resemble demon semen with chunks of rancid feces; a satanic delicacy. 

In the pan which once held the tortured fungus, add the oil, then the swine, which should have been dusted with the aforementioned spices and seasonings.  Sear on ALL SIDES, sealing in the delicious blood that will be ultimately be metabolized into urine and feces by your wretchedly disgusting body. 

When seared, move the persecuted pork to a baking dish just large enough to hold the flesh, then cover in a bukkake of demon spackle.  Cover with foil and let it burn in your torture box for 40 to 45 minutes. 

After time is up, allow the quivering chunks of swine flesh to rest for about 5 minutes.  Pour the boiling fungal infected, demonic spooge over the meat and devour.