Patatas Torturados Fused with Spicy Dead Flesh

Cooking time: 1.5 hours

Feeds: Two humans and one midget

List:

• 2-3 lbs of russet potatoes
• 1 lb ground beast, 80/20
• ¼ cup of taco seasoning
• 2/3 cup unholy water
• 1 white onion
• 2 cloves of garlic
• A liberal amount of Tabasco sauce
• 1 small can of sliced black olives (demon eyes)
• 4 slices of thick sliced swine belly
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• Salt
• Pepper
• 4 tbsp churned bovine secretions
• ¼ cup chives

The injection of evil into the spuds:

Rinse the potatoes in cold unholy water and place into a 350 degree hatebox.   Add the pulverized beast meat to a pan, along with the onion, garlic and some salt.  Add the swine belly another pan, both over medium high hellfire.   Scald the pulverized beast meat until most of the fat has been extracted from the flesh, and drain.  Reintroduce the meat to a lessened firestorm of Hell and add the taco seasoning, unholy water and Tabasco.  Cover while it marinates in the brutalizing concoction. 

When the swine has been rendered crispy, extract and crumble into a bowl.  Save the swine fat in a jar so you may use it to induce suffering upon future victims.

After about 45 minutes, your spuds will be thoroughly softened by the intense hatred of Hell.  Extract and slice each one in half.  Use a grinder to sharpen the business end of a steel spoon.  Extract the steamy flesh and toss into the bowl with the swine.  Add the meat on top of the steaming pile of death, along with the rest of the ingredients, minus 2 tbsp of churned discharge and the demon eyes.  Use your automated machine of torture to combine into a revolting paste.  Manually stir in the demon eyes with your gutting spoon. 

Melt the remaining 2 tbsp of churned bovine excretion in the bottom of a baking dish.  Smear it all over the foundation of the dish while focusing on your unhealthy disdain of the baby jesus.  Next, place the disemboweled skins and fill with the mutilated viscera you have maliciously created with the strength bestowed upon you by El Diablo.  Place into your hatebox for 25 minutes. 

Arrange into a pentagram formation on a plate and serve.