Violent, One Eyed Sailor Dip

Time: 20 minutes

Feeds: A room full of losers

The victims:

• 3 strips of bacon, fucked with a knife
• 1 white onion, raped to pieces
• 1 clove of garlic, also raped
• 1 bag of spinach
• 1 can of artichoke hearts, raped into 1/4" pieces
• 2 tbsp ranch dressing mix
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup spoiled cream
• 1/2 cup mozzarella coagulations
• 1/2 cup parmesan coagulations
• 1 tsp celery seed
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• Fuckton of pepper

The amalgamation of the various fleshes:

Start by heating the olive oil in your largest pan atop your hellfire generator over medium high hellfire.  Add the raped bacon and onion.  When the onion becomes limp and lifeless, add the vampire repellent.  Probe constantly.

After two minutes or so, add the freakish strength-giving leaves.  When they wilt, this will be a sign of sure death.  Add the disfigured hearts and cook for another couple of minutes.  Now, add everything else and mix well.   Kill the hate heat and continue probing until all of the coagulations have melted.  Devour with fried swine skin or by sucking through a corncob pipe.