The Legs of Satan

Time: Hours

Feeds: 3 or 4 poorly dressed vandals

Killing list:

• 6 or 8 chicken legs
• 1 tbsp cumin
• 1 tbsp coriander
• 1 tbsp paprika
• Fuckton of salt
• 2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 2 tsp black pepper
• Unholy water
• The juice from 2 limes
• Even more salt

Weapons:

• The box in which holds the flames of Charon

Let the suffering commence!

Find a large, sealable bag and dump in the amputaken legs along with enough unholy water to cover.  Add a fuckton of salt and the juice from 2 limes.  Stash in your morgue for at least 8  hours.

Fire up the Charon box, and extract the slowly decomposing legs from the unholy, acidic bath.  Dry them with some paper towels, and cover with the dry spice mixture you mixed up beforehand.  Cover each leg liberally, visualizing how painful it’d be to get that shit into an open wound, but how delicious that open wound would be afterwards.

Place each leg on the hate grate above the flames of Charon and torture until they are thoroughly void of life.  You may thank Satan through verbal prayer and immediately consume.