Broken Neck Soup

Time:  1 Hour

Feeds: 4 fuckers

Shit List:

• 1.5 lbs crookneck squash
• 1/2 cup raped red onion
• 1 sprig of tarragon
• 2 cups fowl broth
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• Fuckton of salt
• 1 pint half and half
• Black pepper
• 1/2 cup shredded sharp coagulated bovine secretions

Murder weapon:

• Immersion pulverizer

From skin to liquid:

Begin by washing and trimming the squash.  Extract your dagger and cut into chunks.  Next, introduce the tarragon to the blade. 

Pour the fowl juice into a pot and place on the hellfire generator over high hate.  Once the fluid is boiling violently, add the onion, tarragon and squash.  Sprinkle some salt into the cauldron and let it suffer for about 15 minutes.

In the meantime, you can dream up a dead meat sandwich in which to serve with your vile concoction.  I like a pig ass and coagulated churned bovine secretion sandwich, tormented in scathing, salted butter.  Slices of freshly raped tomato are nice too.

When the time has elapsed and the doomed ingredients have surely met their makers, add the fatty bovine secretions and reduce the hellfire.  The time has now come to destroy this chunky mess with your immersion pulverizer.  It’ll take a minute or so, but it will become smooth and creamy.  Let it simmer for about 5 more minutes, then deposit into a bowl.  Top with pepper and coagulated extra sharp churned bovine secretions and devour.