Slashed Crookneck and Raped Spud with Bovine Excrement

Time: One goddamn hour!

Feeds: 3 or 4 soldiers of Satan

Items for ritualization:

• 2 large red potatoes
• About 2lbs of yellow squash
• 2 cloves of garlic, smashed and raped
• 2 tbsp of fresh chopped basil
• 1/4 cup bovine secretions
• 2 cups of sharp cheddar coagulated bovine secretions
• 1/4 cup parmesan churned bovine secretions
• 4 tbsp olive oil

The relentless scalding of the edibles:

Preheat your hatebox to 400 hate units.  Obtain your yellow phalluses and red spuds, rinse with unholy water and rape into incredibly thin slices.  A guillotine would be perfect for this, but if you don’t have one, do like I did and use a razor sharp dagger. 

Once you’re done, add the slices to a bowl along with the smashed vampire repellent, basil and 3 tbsp of oil.  Mix to combine.  Add the remaining oil to a baking dish in which comes equipped with a lid, and spread around, coating the walls.

Next, add one third of the slices to the pan.  Add 1/3 of the cheddar coagulations, then repeat until all of the shit is gone.  Cover with parmesan coagulated bovine juice, then slowly pour in the bovine tit excrement.  Add the lid and torture for 35 minutes.  Remove the lid and torture for an additional 15.  Extract and ingest.