Seared Slab of Beast with Burned Death Melody

Time: At least 6 hours

Feeds: 2 damned souls

Acidic beast bath:

• 1/3 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 2 tbsp basil
• 1 tbsp parsley
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper
• 1 tbsp Asian hot sauce

The other shit:

• Two sirloin steaks
• 3 large yellow squash
• One onion
• 1/2 yellow bell pepper
• 1/2 red bell pepper
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• Crushed red pepper
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• 1 tsp dried rosemary
• 1/2 tsp dried time
• Fuckton of salt
• 1/4 cup mozzarella bovine coagulations

Agonizing appliances:

• The box in which holds the flames of Charon
• Immersion pulverizer

Developing your bloodlust:

Begin by acknowledging that Lucifer created all horned animals, in which you are about to consume.  Without horned animals, we’d be forced to consume gay meats like chicken. 

Please note I suggested sirloin steaks.  Don’t try to flavor a good cut of meat, like a ribeye, because you will eventually have to stand before Satan and answer for your stupid decisions.  This wouldn’t please him.

Place your steaks in a sealable bag.  Combine all of the acidic bath ingredients in a measuring cup and destroy with your immersion pulverizer.  Pour enough in the bag with the meat to cover and seal.  You may remove the air in the bag with a straw for better acidic coverage.  Save the rest of the soaking fluid in a clean jar and stash everything in the morgue.

After several hours, the beast will have soaked up a shit ton of flavor from the vile concoction.  Extract from the morgue and let rest of the counter for at least an hour.

Set your box ablaze.  While your fiery inferno is growing in intensity, slice your vegetables and place in a bowl.  Put the rest of the ingredients in the bowl and stir to combine.  

Move your coals as close to the torturing grate as possible and slap your slabs of beast over the heat.  After exactly 2 minutes, turn, 1/4 of a turn.  After another two minutes, flip.  When the next two minutes pass, turn.  Two more minutes, extract and let rest.

Now place your vegetable Charonizing device on the grill and spread  your marinated death melody evenly across the searing surface.  Close the lid and allow them to suffer for 5 minutes.   Meanwhile, add the mozzarella coagulations to the bowl you just used for the vegetables.  Flip the vegetables and allow them to torment for another few minutes above the searing coals.

Dump the steaming mess directly on top of the coagulations and stir.  The coagulations will melt slightly, and add to the delicious death that lies before your eyes.  Serve with your hunk of beast and devour.