Greasy Guido Dead Meat Sandwich, served on Faguette

 Time: All goddamn day

Feeds: 5 + Satanic soldiers 

The deceased:

• 1 hunk of bovine flesh, cheap cuts will do
• 3 cans of beef broth
• One package of Italian dressing shit mix
• 1 tbsp garlic powder
• 1 tbsp onion powder
• Fuckton of salt
• 1 tbsp basil
• 1 tbsp oregano
• 1 package of Goya Sazon
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 tsp marjoram
• 1 tbsp crushed red pepper
• 2 faguettes

Required Equipment:

• Prolonged torture cauldron

The Formula that is Fatal to the Flesh:

The Mayhem show is in town tonight, and you know the severed goat heads on sticks and hunks of rancid meat flung into the crowd will cause you to salivate and wish for steaming dead beast in between two delicious slices of bread shortly after the questionable performance.  You will also be very intoxicated, and won’t be able to properly desecrate the dead animal after the show.   Here’s what you do:

A few hours before the show, plop the hunk of dead flesh into your prolonged torture cauldron.  Dump everything else in, minus the faguettes, you dumbass.  Put the lid on, adorn your face with corpse paint, put on your biggest spiked arm bands and proceed to making the faguettes.  When the faguettes are done, leave to go to the show or else you’ll miss the obscure black metal bands that are opening!  Be sure to drink before you leave, on the way, and in the parking lot.  Beer is a goddamn rip off at the show.

 

When you return, you’ll need to figure out a way to cut the faguettes on the bias, so you have large enough pieces to make a goddamn sandwich.  Plop a bunch of meat and death fluids onto the bread and devour your goddamn greasy dead animal sandwich.