Feeds: Two hungry assholes
The damned:
- 1 lb pulverized bovine meat
- 1 small onion, diced
- 4 slices of cheese, your choice
- 4 button mushrooms, sliced thick
- 4 buns
- 8 strips of bacon
- Salt
- Pepper
The ceremony of cruelty:
First, cook the bacon in a griddle or a large cast iron pan. After the bacon has been darkened and
rendered crispy, extract. Crank the heat
of your hellfire generator up to high.
Divide your pulverized beast meat into quarters and roll into
balls. Cover in salt and pepper. Toss on top of the searing metal and smash flat
with your probing device. Carefully add
the onions to each patty and smash into the screaming flesh.
After a minute or two, flip and smash to ensure the onions
are embedded into the flesh. The side
exposed to the suffering should be slightly blackened on the outside from the
enormous amount of searing hate coming from below. Use the rendered fat to singe the fungus in
the vacant spaces. Top the patties with
the cheese of your choice and cover the pan with aluminum foil to ensure the coagulated
bovine secretions liquefy over the flesh.
Swiss and American are good choices, but any flavorful soft cheese will
work.
Meanwhile, use your death from above unit to toast the
insides of the buns. When the meat is completely
void of life, extract and place onto the buns that have been slathered with
condiments of your choice. I have a
severe mustard fetish, so this is a must for me, even though it makes for a
hellish laundry day when I finally get around to washing sheets.
Smash the fungus into the cheese, along with the swine belly,
assuming you haven’t already accidentally consumed the delicious beast strips
while anxiously awaiting the completion of the ritual. This happens often, but as long as dead
animal ends up inside of you, Satan will look the other way. Next, use your digestive tract to metabolize this
dead animal into feces.
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