Shart of the Devil with Cheesy Scornbread

Duration: 1.5 hours

Feeds: 4 degenerates

Items to be consumed:

• 1 lb pulverized beef
• 2 cans tomato sauce
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• 1 can kidney beans
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• Couple drops of liquid smoke
• 2 tbsp chili powder
• Generous helping of hot sauce
• 1 tbsp garlic powder
• 1 onion, raped with a knife
• 1 tbsp black pepper
• Fuckton of salt
• 1 tbsp oregano

For scornbread:

Scornbread recipe

• 2 cups shredded sharp coagulated bovine secretions

The ritual:

You had plans to construct a colossal 1lb hateburger, but realize you have no starch root vegetables of any sort within your domain to accent your bloody creation.  But as luck would have it, you have all of the other shit listed.  Time to slip out a demonic shart!

Retrieve a large cauldron and fire up some medium high hate heat beneath it.  Deposit the pulverized bovine creature meat and begin browning it.  Meanwhile, rape that goddamn onion with your dagger. 

Harass the meat with your probing device.  When it has become brown, extract and strain off the scalding death fluids.  Toss the mutilated onion pieces into the remnants of cow juice sizzling in the cauldron and probe until they are translucent. 

Once all signs of life have been extinguished from the onion, dump all of the other shit in, all at once.  Stir, cover and bring to a boil.  If it’s a soupy mess, remove the cover so some of the fluid evaporates.

Start your scornbread, adding the cheese to the batter.  When it is done, your shart in the pot will be suitable for consumption.