Feeds: A couple of soulless murderers
List:
- 1 Whole chicken
- 4 tbsp butter
- Salt
- Pepper
- 1 celery stalk
- 1 sprig of rosemary
- ½ cup flour
- 2 cups chicken broth
The mutilation of the fowl:
Start by preheating your hatebox to 350 hate units. Rid your celery of excess day laborer manure
from the Mexican field in which it was grown, then slash it into three or four
pieces. Next place your dead bird into a
pan. Shove the celery, rosemary and ¾ of
the butter up its large anal cavity.
Also dump a bunch of salt and pepper into its ass. Then slather the expired animal in the remaining butter and
cover in salt and pepper.
Insert a probe thermometer into the thigh of the fowl and
send it to its date with the devil by inserting it into the hate
box. Be prepared to wait an hour and a
half until the fowl flesh has reached the unimaginably blistering temperature
of 170 degrees. When this occurs,
extract. Spoon out a good half cup of
rendered fat into a pan along with any stray bits of skin. Baste the bird with its own death fluids, then cover the dish with foil and allow to rest for 30 minutes.
Create a fire of medium hate beneath the pan of death fluids. Whisk in the flour. Continue probing with hatred for a few
minutes, then add the fowl fluid. Add
some salt and pepper. Probe until
thickened.
Use your expensive meat cleaver to hack off a leg. If there is a small child present, give it to
them and exclaim it is a gift from Satan.
This will teach them to respect our Dark Lord more than Santa Claus, and will surely add a future soul to our unstoppable army against god and all that is holy. Carve the rest of the bird with a knife and
slather with the death fluid gravy. Ingest.
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